About Me

Constant Contemplations is a personal blog where I will be writing under the pen name Mackenzie Rummel.  I will share some of my stories and experiences as an adult daughter of a Narcissistic Mother. For so long I felt isolated.  When I was younger I tried to tell other adults, my friends, and even my own mother about what I was enduring.  Each time I was met with dismissals because I was the child and my mother was the grown up.  I tried so hard to prove that I was the one that was telling the truth, but it was no use.  After a while I stopped.  I thought I had to accept and endure this pain for my whole life.  As I got older I was able to confide in a few adults and close friends, but that was it.  With all the other acquaintances and adults I encountered I just nodded and smiled as they told me things like "Oh honey, that's just because she loves you" or "I'm sure it's not that bad." or "You'll understand when you become a mother."  I learned that I didn't have to explain myself to people who have the luxury of not being able to understand what I went through.  My hope in writing this blog and sharing my experience is to make others feel seen, heard, believed, and loved. Here you are not alone.